On your 11th one…

Every time I prepare to roar ,’No cricket practice in the house’, the mummy of my little baby holds me back as if warning, ‘ Better control yourself lady,for you are going to miss this too ! As you miss his cute blabbering, his wobbly walk, his crawling and then tugging on to your legs or even his messy throwing up after gulping that bottle of milk.’

As I see you reach my shoulders today, I see a young boy wanting to take his own little decisions, expressing his opinions; at times so eagerly making tea when I have a headache or tiding up the house with me when unexpected guests prepare to land. On umpteen little things, my eyes well up and as I hold my head high, I do hide that gulp in my throat wondering where did that little baby go?

Not that I have stopped roaring or ranting. At the end of the day, when you come and manage to fleece me with your most innocently pleading smile and say ‘ Today your baby will sleep with you..and that’s final…na !’ I pretend to frown but succumb to a wide smile, for I know that my little baby is still around.

These eleven years as you were growing to be a big boy, the mom in me was growing each day- at times wondering, most of the times learning, also experimenting, somewhere failing, somewhere succeeding but Yes….loving you and your growing up ….all along !!

Happy 11th birthday Hamraaz

Muchas Gracias…

 

Muchas Gracias 2011

A glance back, 2011 seemed to have dished out a lavish spread;

Celebrations that left us enthralled

Little setbacks taught us to move on.

That good news that made us gleefully smile at life,

Sadly some that shook that faith for a while.

Waiting eagerly to welcome a new life,

Helpless at another one just sink by.

Few bridges crossed

A few fences built.

Handful of opportunities lost

A few blissfully grabbed and savored.

Relations; many relished, some endured

Some chose to walk with us,

A few others walked all over us,

Some walked past and lost touch,

While others left imprints that still warm the heart.

Few cozy conversations went on and on….others just didn’t pull beyond.

A rush of naughty glances, warming ups, some cold shrugs, heated discussions and warm hugs.

To the almighty; bless us with the courage to sail through storms,

Shower upon us sanity to be humbled by windfalls and not to get swept off.

A heartfelt gratitude for the year gone by!

Let’s look forward to savor and welcome what 2012 unfolds!

Bequeathing a fortune of warm memories ~ Will our children be as lucky???

As I see sonny excited for yet another transition – graduating from pencils to using fountain pens – I wonder why the memory of a shiny silver fountain pen has been poking me vehemently since the last few days and making me silently smile!

One of those childhood memories when my father handed over his much used Chinese pen (with Chinese nib!)….and I had felt as if he had bequeathed me a fortune! Along with this are memories of many small things and the emotions accompanied ….A small Texla t.v.- the first tv set of our house for which me and my brother waited for months , my first pocket calculator that a dear uncle (now my father- in- law) gifted me on one of his visits when I was around 10 or 11 years old.

A Vespa scooter that carried four of us- papa, mama, my brother and me (perched on a steel carrier seat ) to our ancestral house every weekend. That – almost 20 km ride in glaring sun was such fun that I remember finishing many story books on that steel seat and my brother playing his simple water game tucked between mummy and papa! And I can keep going on and on!!!

Wonder whether our children flooded all the time with new age gizmos and gadgets – will have any memories of things they longed for and then finally got! Without advocating deprivation, I feel we were luckier than our kids in this regard. I guess it is not the material comforts but the emotions attached with every event and acquisition that etch them in our memories….for– my warmest memories are of the innumerable journeys by non-Ac buses and trains to meet loved ones and cousins during holidays!

Guess we sacrifice and overlook many emotions in our quest for material comforts……We shall leave our kids much richer if we bequeath them a fortune of warm and rich memories of apparently small things! And I myself know it is not that easy – to practice :)))

 

Colours on my canvas…

The colors on my canvas….are not my own,

 The colors on my canvas come from varied zones!

A part of the canvas has all soft and pastel hues,

They come from a fairy queen God mother,

 Such a compassionate soul!

Thou was there to hold me when I went through my baby steps,

With that boundless love …you showered on me,

Am for life overwhelmed and ………drenched!

Yet again U were there by me in my later lissome steps,

You would never utter a word,

Yet your warm gaze would tell me that those were ‘the’ steps……

You bestowed me with some precious gems,

And from them I ‘draw’ each day and still my kitty is ever intact….

 

“Your loneliness would never leave you amidst all the noisy crowds,

If your ‘inner self’ was not satiated and ever so beautifully right”…

Even though miles separate us…your gems are always by my side .

Another part of my canvas has all bright and luminous hues,

They come from a friendly and vibrant soul….

As u walked in and splashed some of your vivid tones,

I felt I was just blinded by all the shimmer around,

But as I looked back at my canvas,

 I just fell in love with all that radiance,

My feet could walk the ‘right steps’…

You told them they could dance as well…

At first they were hesitant…

Later they discovered their new self.

My soul……………… that was in bliss,

All happy and engrossed with the inner peace,

 Was just waiting to be tapped by your finger tips…

The ‘silence’ was always so soothing,

Yet the melodies, jingles and noises,

Were somethings with which I fell in love,

From a loner and a solitary reaper,

Got drawn towards the chatter of my whole new world…

Thus…my smiles became laughter…

And those whispers got some 😉 pitch.

I still yearn for that little space,

Still can’t do without those quite moments…

For they give me that wonderful solace..

But as I look at my canvas,

It is all merged and submerged in the colors from my two worlds.

THE COLORS ON MY CANVAS,

WERE NOT MY OWN….

BUT THEY COME FROM TWO LOVED ONES…

AND TODAY,

It is as if, they were always ….MY OWN!!!!